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This is a napkin. It is a contract; signed by my son, Ben, and my hubby, Dan, and me. Jackie Gamber.

This is a new beginning to an old dream.

A few years ago, I had a kind of secret. I took it out to play now and again, in my mind, in the early mornings or late evenings when no one was looking. It revolved around all the imaginings I could create, for real, someday, if I really, really, believed in myself and really, really threw my energy and resources and passion at it.

But it stayed a secret, because I was taught from a young age that wanting things was selfish and bad. And the best way to deflect from feeling selfish was to share.

So I shared. Over the years, my son, Ben, daughter, Ellen, and hubby, Dan, have created fun and silly and interesting things together. And I loved it! We bonded. We attended conventions together, where I talked about my novels, and helped them write stories, and even my kids won writing contests and sat on panels about creativity and story. We made YouTube videos of how-to, and gaming, and skits. We’ve made short films and commercials (sometimes with other studios). We were Gamber Nation. I wouldn’t trade those times for anything.

But people grow and change, and even in a close-knit family like mine, hobbies and interests diverge. My kids are grown, and building a life of their own, as is the way of things.

But for me, in secret, my passion has only gotten stronger. And I started wanting, really wanting, something all to myself. Just for me. Something to grow and build, and make a name with. I did come up with the name Big Imagine Studio, after all. But even back then, what I really wanted to do with it remained my selfish secret.

Until a few weeks ago, over pizza at Stone Mountain Pizza Cafe. Ben, Dan, and I were discussing our future plans for our YouTube channel, Gamber Nation. We had recently moved to the Atlanta area, quite suddenly, and were re-evaluating our current and future goals.

That’s when I blurted it. My secret. And how I’ve always wanted Big Imagine, free and unfettered, to explore my creative horizon and to plumb my creative depths, just to see what I was really capable of.

My hubby hardly let me finish before he’d grabbed a napkin and wrote out “Big Imagine by Jackie Gamber.” He signed it, handed it to Ben, who also signed it, and then slid it over to me. Guess who had the hardest time signing?

That’s right. Me. Because selfish.

But sign I did. And from that day to this, I’ve had nothing but drive for what I want to do with it. Pedal to the metal. Ready to burn out, instead of fade away.

The universe seems to be indulging me at the moment, because we’ve bought a new house (a year sooner than we ever expected) and with it comes a huge, open space for my studio. Big Imagine Studio. For crafting and filming and teaching (anyone in the Atlanta area want some kick-ass lessons in acting for film?).bigimaginestudio

It’s January 2017, and I am ready to #GoForthAndRock.

 

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